in out in out in out FRIDAY

This may be all I’ll ever need.

Life at home’s been unexpectedly pleasant.  I must have grown up, because everything I’ve feared about it has come true–chores and not being able to sleep in ’til four in the afternoon and the constant heckling about whether or not I’m pro-active enough about the career thing.  But as it is, living with my folks has been pretty nice.

I don’t go out, I don’t get drunk, I haven’t smoked so few cigarettes since high school, and I’ve got a 42″ LCD TV all to myself in my room.  No antennae reception or cable, but an Xbox 360 and a 500-watt surround sound setup.

Last night, I stayed up until 2 am gluing and painting a model airplane.  Tonight, if anyone’s willing, I’m going to play a game of Axis & Allies.

This is the boyhood I should have had!

it’s still about the video games.

everyone keeps trashing the new weezer album.  i would have too, until i got to “thought i knew” for the fifth time and forgot i was listening to weezer.  two more re-listens and i like red very much.

posting doesn’t seem stupid or pointless.  there’s a lot i’d like to talk about, but the last two months have been flat out gnarly.  so many friends growing up so fast in the face of unpleasant realities.  i’m graduated, and life isn’t about papers and hangovers anymore.

22% of the game still left undiscovered. can i stomach any more?

i couldn’t tell you how many hours i’ve spent in the station. i’ve got *around* 20 stories under my belt, so does that entitle me to a free pair of headphones?

specifically, this pair here, that i accidentally snapped in two while trying to give ernesto a high-five?

or do i still have to replace it?

longest, most comprehensive story yet goes on in a few minutes. it would have been longer, more comprehensive, but i think neither i nor an audience could tolerate that.

today’s story required talking to loads of people who knew a lot about what i didn’t know about. that’s sop for most anything i do, but it gets complicated when i try to pretend i know something about what they know about, and still not come out of it an ass.

valuable life lessons learned today.

but mary, i have to go home.

the last words of the recent college grad may be “it can’t be that bad” in regards to moving back with the fam.  at least i’m keeping with tradition.

i’m fortunate enough to have coasted through college on my parents’ money.  i might have kept some, but i didn’t.  maybe moving back home is the kick-in-the-ass dose of realism i need to send me off into the paycheck collecting world correctly.

i’m not saddled with debt, but i just don’t have any money.  no savings, a trickle of cash for clerical work between classes… i started this blog when i thought i was starting a career and almost a year later, i’m still at step one.

well, step one-and-a-half.  i don’t get paid for it, but i report radio news.  twice a week for four months now.  almost 20 stories on the air.  could be a start?

charlotte skipped town for her start.  i haven’t spoken to her in months.  i like to think that she took full advantage of being an insignificant speck, at least so far as the big, bad world is concerned.  took her tiny speck of a hardly marketable self and threw into a foreign oblivion.

chris ensured himself a degree that will translate into money fairly reliably.  while he waits for graduation, he putters around southeast asia.  probably wasn’t far for either the cyclone or the earthquake.  geez.  i hope he’s alive.

point is, there’s a possibility i might move to idaho falls within the year.

it’s settled.  moving back in with my parents in mid-june.  i have mixed feelings about this.  on the one hand, no need to pay for rent, food, utilities, or even maybe gasoline.  i’ll be closer to the radio station, and there’s talk of picking up work as an investigator for some pocket change. 

on the other hand, i am still haunted by memories of dad running his tight ship.  no sleeping in.  forced labor–i mean favors.  the lawn could sure use a lot of work.  and with all that water damage in the roof, there’ll be no shortage of things to do at 2180 pinecrest.

i wonder who gets the cat.  miguel’s been a great surrogate owner/papa/boyfriend for her.  i still maintain that bear’s last name is tam.  so if christina moves out too, i’ll defer to her wishes for the cat.

i wonder about ophelia.  considering that i’m on the figurative couch this week, my anxieties about her moving away are extra heavy.  idaho falls is a far away place.  and if that doesn’t pan out for her, san francisco is still not close.  nobody says anything good about distance relationships.  i’m willing to try.

gas, electric, and internet are due.

at a bar on river street, i tell the bartender that there is a family reunion.  instinctively, i don’t know why, i explain that it’s not so bad.  for some reason i think the popular perception of reunions is that they are a pain in the ass?  bunch of people who live apart for a reason forced to endure a week together, it can’t be good.  bartender says she doesn’t know about me, but her family reunions are great.  and says she never knows what will happen.

but for record’s sake, i just put together a second package for the kpfk evening news.  i may do another story for monday evening, and now that the boss has seen that i can make my way around a newsroom and recording studio without fucking everything up, i could have a fatter portfolio sooner. 

this is pretty nice.

poem about being disappointed by someone i know.  i am to write this and keep the word “curse” in mind.  i am not sure how to do this.  there doesn’t seem to be anything worth writing about, especially considering the smallness of a privileged life.